Thursday, October 24, 2013

windwalker gets a long-overdue check up......

windwalker, when she arrived...
Dearest friends and lovers of dear windwalker...
"...I hear a drum in my soul's ear coming from the depths of the stars..."  - Rumi
I have to admit i'm elated....
...and i believe windwalker is too...

in September, our ayllu sacred drum, windwalker travelled down from Kamloops  and was delivered to be with me/us... (thank you Laurie!)

holy wow - is this ever cool!

There are really no accidents......... the way it all fell into place it was meant to be...

I can't tell you how wonderful it has been to have her here in our home - for the first time ever since she was birthed over 6 years ago!

Where we lived previously didn't allow room for her... though our new home now does and she is presently happily residing in our healing room, gracing us with her sacred presence... and what a time we've had....

Moose hide side @ 35.25 diameter
It has been a good opportunity for me to really spend some good quality, sacred time with her to connect and pray together...

and, what i have also realized is that this time has also allowed me to really get a good look at her up close...

I live about 4-5 hours from Kamloops/Sorrento and when i have been up there for sacred circles 2-3 times a year where windwalker is always a part... i have never had the opportunity to really survey how she is doing because our time is always limited with being so busy in session and then... right at the moment when the event is over, windwalker is promptly loaded back onto a vehicle to be in care with someone until the next event...

The last while (about 2 years or so) there has been quite a bit of discussion about what to do with windwalker's heft - particularly her weight and size..... she's a grand drum!

A drum of this size logistically really doesn't lend itself to be moved around a lot very well... ultimately it would have been nice to have one sacred space to house her... however, we haven't had that option and so, she has been moved to where we create and hold our ceremonies, trainings and community events... Doing this moving has not been easy nor longer possible for some...

Last April (2013), we gathered together in circle to discuss what to do about this and after much discussion, a few options were considered... one, was giving her to another community... or to me... though during this time, we did not have the room for her... when this was being suggested, i couldn't fathom windwalker being 'given' to one person... it also deeply saddened me to hear this...

Finally, some good time to check in + assess

I expressed that the original intent and dreaming this sacred drum into being was meant to be as a Community/Ayllu mother drum... to be of service to the ayllu...

During the meeting Laurie D., agreed to be windwalker's caretaker until perhaps others would wish to take on sharing this task. (thank you Laurie!)...

So, it was agreed a call would be made to the general ayllu... and since that (email) notice has gone out, no one has replied at all... except from a couple of folk who wish to know what happens to her - to be kept in the loop....

One person emailed me and shared with me that they found the issue of windwalker being too heavy, not an issue at all - that in the past or even now, a spiritual community would simply not see it this way - that if a drum (or anything) needed to be moved, it was to be moved by as many people needed and they would do it... She also asked, why is it that when the 1,000 days of drumming project ended, that it was suggested that windwalker was to 'end'?  It didn't make any sense to her...

It didn't make any sense to me either....

Making one into two...

Another group decision that came out of the meeting was to attempt to cut her into two frames horizontally and create two drums - which would "lighten her up"...And if that worked, we would then re-skin windwalker  - and the other frame would be shipped to the New York ayllu... where they would birth their own community mother drum... thus widening the healing work we are all a part of...

A glimpse into the heart of the mother
This was an interesting thought as it possibly aligned with the original intent back 6 years ago...?

When we were guided to the blown-down sitka spruce on Read Island, two rounds were sawn off the tree stump - it was a major undertaking taking most of the day....

The smaller round (3 foot diameter) came to Kamloops - which we birthed as windwalker and the other round (which was about 4 feet in diameter) was left on the beach to be picked up later at a trip back to Read... However, the 4-foot round went missing and was never found...

hmmmn.... so... it wasn't meant to be?
I'm of the bent that stuff happens for a reason where spirit and life-purpose have already been written.....
I believe that it's no accident we have the dear sacred drum we have - in the physical form that she was birthed and meant to be.........Perhaps windwalker wrote her own life-purpose???  We humbly heard 'her' call,  responded and showed up.......

windwalker reflects back to us as ayllu
It's interesting to note that when i attempted to plan and organize a time (recently) to gather those of us to do the actual task of cutting and separating her into two... it didn't work for anyone to be there and so i pushed that date ahead to November when i was to be next up for the white drum mesa gathering....
Though... i have to admit... every time i thought of this actually happening - literally cutting windwalker into two just made me cringe over and over..... and i finally had to listen to that........ the spirits were speaking to me.....
Then something happened..

Spirit and guidance revealed to me a 'reflection' windwalker was showing in the 'cutting into two".... The very act by us (as ayllu) choosing to cut her in half... was perhaps a confirmation that our ayllu is and has been "cut" and "split" for many years.... Even before windwalker was birthed she showed us this when the frame began to rapidly split and crack while Rick was coring her...

Are we listening?...

I ask why would we wish to continue dreaming this dream? - by symbolically and physically intending this?........ i can't negate that i find this interesting and a powerful message/reflection... and have to admit seeing and realizing this, rattled me deep, to say the least...
I'm not sure i, or anyone else for that matter, would like to continue to dream this into being....???
I don't know about you.... that i prefer to mindfully dream into being our community ayllu as 'wholeness'... and healing as 'one'....

Windwalker is revealing to me (and others) that she chooses healing.... to build community - not sever it....

Anyway... all of the above can and has been debated over and over and over again ...and i have found it all, very interesting just how each and everyone who have been touched by this grand sacred drum - have their own perspective, relationship and journey with her, and i say it again - each one's relationship is valid... and i acknowledge and honour each with respect...

I also know that not everyone carries sacred drum medicine as i do... i have learned of late that perhaps i was possibly assuming this? - though not intentionally... I have to admit that i came to a place of being 'stuck' with the original dreaming of windwalker - that she was/is as 'ayllu community drum'... and wouldn't let go of that.... it's been clear that some ayllu members have told me that they are 'done' with care-taking windwalker - and, it's a surprising and sad fact that no one wishes to carry on... i honour and respect any one's decision of what's right for them... i always have...

I also know that our ayllu is shifting and changing - everything shifts and changes... perhaps this is a message of not being attached to 'form'........ again, another sacred teaching from windwalker...

So now... i can 'see' and 'feel' a new dreaming coming into being - i may not exactly know what that is at the moment... though i am open to a new beginning... windwalker has been and is definitely moving into a new pacha and i feel i am too - yet again!  I know we all are... I can't negate nor ignore a dreaming of a deeper 'sacred partnership - of all' coming into being....... others feel this as well... we are all evolving and that includes windwalker too...

So... these past few weeks i have taken the opportunity to really assess where windwalker is at both physically and spiritually....

windwalker is 2.8-inches or more thick!
I wish to note some significant facts - some of which i suspected and knew over 5 years ago where, now only confirm...


ASSESSMENT - windwalker's much-needed check up...

- As we know, windwalker is one big drum - she was birthed from a very large wind-blown-down Sitka Spruce tree that was found on Read Island,  the west coast of BC... (her herstory is documented here on this blog FYI)...

- When Rick cored her 6 years ago - he figured she is about 135 years old by her ring count... Wow!  I never really knew this.... we knew she is one wise grandmother!...

- She is about 17 inches in height, 35.25 inches in diameter on her Moose skin side and 31 inches diameter on her Buffalo skin side...

- What i really didn't realize until now is that she, her frame-rim is over 2.8-inches thick!!! (see photo)  This is significant because it also explains one reason why she is so heavy in weight... that is solid wood!...

- When windwalker first arrived, i first checked in spiritually and connected with her heart-to-heart... i was quite astonished as to how 'wounded' she is feeling and showing... i cried tears of compassion for her... i felt this most on her two hides... physically there are a number of rips and tears with also numerous deep scratches and gouges into her buffalo hide side (see photos below)...

What was nice to see is her Sitka wood body is in excellent shape without hardly a bump or scratch - here, she is strong,  and holds much beauty and grace.... her body holds much spirit, medicine and symbology within her stunning grain... there is a white amaru dragon... a big chocachinchay cat... tidal waves, spirals and soundings... i can hear ocean dolphins swimming... the cry of the whale and owl and more.....

There are over 10 verticals broken + re-tied
- Though, what i found most significant was that windwalker's hides are indeed completely flat and wrinkled... there is no resonance at all... the only sound you hear is a flat thump...
When i went around around and checked her lacings, i was astounded to find just how many of the rawhide verticals have broken over the years - over 10+ have snapped and some ripped right out from the hide edge... and they were all lovingly re-tied back together with much mindfulness and care.... however, this does not return or retain any tightness or resonance of the hides....
- And so,  this is most significant, one of which i've been attempting to share with people for a number of years is that.... when both hides are completely flat and have been since the first lacings broke that first year.... IS the main reason why she no longer sings... This is truly a technical issue because there is no longer ANY tension or resonance because of flat hides!  She really needed to be re-skinned way back then.

It is no one's fault this was never done - it just didn't get done...
Sooo.... this is where she is at in this moment of time.... 
I feel very strongly that she still needs to be simply lightened up, re-skinned and repaired where, she will sing once again as she did back when we birthed her.... note... back when we birthed her and dedicated her, her first soundings were so resonant, you could feel the heart of the mother move the core of your being from within your own heart and back to hers - i will never forget that... do you remember?....

It was unfortunate that her lacings broke within the first year... for she has never sung the same since... there are many of us who know this from playing her.  When one plays any kind of drum - the energy of the engagement must be equal... where, as i play the drum, the drum plays me back.... yes, there is some sound coming from her - however, this is only because the hides are dried and molded to the frame and if it's warm enough, they may tighten slightly - though only so far... there is still no tension... We made some mistakes when we birthed her - one being we should have made twice the thickness of lacing...

tears and rips on the hides
I am confident that a lot of her girth-weight can be brought down considerably by removing about a third of her rim thickness -  which will lighten her up... and even taking down some of her height will help with this as well...

I am receiving a very clear message directly from her and the lineage of sacred drummers that she is NOT to be cut into two - that this is not her life-path nor is it even feasible from a physical and technical perspective...

Reason being........
Her height is only 17 inches and...
many broken lacings re-tied...
...If she were to be cut into two, this would only allow for each frame to be about 8.5 inches high if we're lucky...  This is not enough height  to act as a sustainable strong frame at such a diameter... and much too short to maintain the stress of stretching hides and playing or moving, etc....

After a long-overdue good discussion with Rick, who knows her the best physically, (because he cored her), it is not recommended we even try cutting her, as it is more than possible that she would crack and break and, in the end, we would not have a sacred drum any more... we would destroy her...


Windwalker's next pacha - next plans ....

Since the email notice that went out regarding windwalker's next pacha... there has been NO response - no one new has expressed an interest in care-taking her... those who have in the past no longer wish to...

Since windwalker has been in residence here with me... windwalker herself, the spirits, and the lineage of the sacred drummers are advising that she continue to stay here with me in Vancouver for the time being....

Soooooooooooo....

The plan is..... soon, her hides will be removed (i'm thinking on Samhain Oct 31st) and then, she will be lightened up by removing about a third of her inner rim thickness and some of her height taken down.

This is a big physical job... i am committed to doing this here in Vancouver and there are also a few others who are willing to do this work with me... we are committed to doing it.... i welcome anyone to come join us...

I and we know deep in our hearts that, for the present moment that this is windwalker's next pacha - and she is NOT to be split - as this only confirms what has been mentioned above...

We know deep within our being and intend - that WE are ONE... and WHOLE... windwalker is here to guide us to continue to dream this into being...

Our dear windwalker has been very clear for many months now - that she chooses to continue in her whole state...  and i can't tell you how excited and passionate i am to be a part of her journey with her, for her to reveal her next pacha and what that will be - i am deeply listening and open to be her care-taker in this present moment...

I welcome all who wish to be a part... and i always welcome your feedback and comments below...

Lovingly reported, with many bright blessings...
love and light... weaver x (((o)))

PS... windwalker's continued journey will be documented here and updates will be posted... more photos below...

The lacings are completely loose...
Loose lacings and more re-ties...


a white Amaru dragon keeps watch in the south...
The Buffalo hide side has taken on deep scratches...